im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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