Please, let me fuck your mom
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
