i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
