I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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