the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize