All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
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I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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