Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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