I hate all girls vehemently.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
