grandma shit on top of the toilet
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
