you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
