The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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