They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
