Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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