eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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