Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
