We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You took a bar mat shot.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize