she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
