it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
