we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
