Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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