everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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