I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Someone stole a lamp last night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
