im having a threesome with these popsicles
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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