Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
