I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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