I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
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