So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you had me at cake vodka
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
