America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize