nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
