TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
