We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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