we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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