the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Church boner. Awkwardddd
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
