i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
