Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
