in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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