I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
