About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
