walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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