his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother