ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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