Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(302): View more from Delaware

I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

You mean inside out.

(302): View more from Delaware

No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3

Replies (20) Good night (7594) Bad night (991)
Favorite
(307): View more from Wyoming

If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(307): If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter... http://tfl.nu/rvqi

Replies (24) Good night (5504) Bad night (773)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning. http://tfl.nu/jpte

Replies (13) Good night (670) Bad night (3741)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise. http://tfl.nu/s84e

Replies (7) Good night (6713) Bad night (640)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart? http://tfl.nu/us70

Replies (22) Good night (1409) Bad night (5730)
Favorite
(566): View more from

According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(566): According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE ! http://tfl.nu/odei

Replies (25) Good night (772) Bad night (3058)
Favorite
(785): View more from Kansas

The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(785): The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am http://tfl.nu/qtcn

Replies (11) Good night (2585) Bad night (1550)
Favorite
(901): View more from Tennessee

I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(901): I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking. http://tfl.nu/t4jf

Replies (11) Good night (4928) Bad night (711)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls http://tfl.nu/30m5

Replies (11) Good night (1105) Bad night (560)
Favorite
(225): View more from Louisiana

Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(225): Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina http://tfl.nu/plxw

Replies (4) Good night (2559) Bad night (942)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school. http://tfl.nu/m6s5

Replies (8) Good night (2095) Bad night (500)
Favorite
(415): View more from California

OPIZZABONMYDICK

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): OPIZZABONMYDICK http://tfl.nu/43zd

Replies (14) Good night (742) Bad night (484)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

can i bring anything?

(443): View more from Maryland

Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

is there a theme i should know about?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): can i bring anything? (443): Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer (412): is there a theme i should know about? http://tfl.nu/49rz

Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (238)
Favorite
(239): View more from Florida

Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(239): Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse. http://tfl.nu/h54v

Replies (1) Good night (228) Bad night (679)
Favorite
(705): View more from Ontario

Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(705): Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast. http://tfl.nu/az13

Replies (5) Good night (848) Bad night (230)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: