Texts From Last Night

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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore

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  (339): That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore http://tfl.nu/dkgm
  Replies (1) Good night (1921) Bad night (728)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits

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  (602): I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits http://tfl.nu/rsyd
  Replies (54) Good night (1246) Bad night (7128)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.

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  (248): brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing. http://tfl.nu/ysyr
  Replies (10) Good night (4515) Bad night (675)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.

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  (506): i think i would be more confident if i were chinese. http://tfl.nu/cr8w
  Replies (6) Good night (2606) Bad night (1710)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.

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  (262): Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award. http://tfl.nu/7kwq
  Replies (6) Good night (3645) Bad night (827)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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  (406): We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase. http://tfl.nu/9rce
  Replies (11) Good night (4094) Bad night (1031)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.

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  (708): Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic. http://tfl.nu/b2ov
  Replies (15) Good night (1627) Bad night (5838)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.

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  (541): I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god. http://tfl.nu/ci1f
  Replies (10) Good night (6250) Bad night (876)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.

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  (419): Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off. http://tfl.nu/9bhr
  Replies (6) Good night (996) Bad night (2758)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.

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  (865): just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke. http://tfl.nu/o9qp
  Replies (5) Good night (4615) Bad night (900)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.

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  (765): I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me. http://tfl.nu/y0cn
  Replies (4) Good night (3104) Bad night (627)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go

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  (902): Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go http://tfl.nu/ajer
  Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (358)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)

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  (443): according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :) http://tfl.nu/n706
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (273)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>

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  (443): so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.> http://tfl.nu/ipoz
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (1046)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.

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  (315): The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage. http://tfl.nu/jw7v
  Replies (6) Good night (227) Bad night (789)

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