Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you

(248): View more from Michigan

Gross. gingers suck

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(807): View more from Ontario

I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(224): View more from Illinois

I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure

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(201): View more from New Jersey

After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"

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(416): View more from Toronto

How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?

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(773): View more from Illinois

we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.

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(407): View more from Florida

Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!

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