Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?