wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
