a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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