So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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