me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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