Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
