i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
