the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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