discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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