Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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