I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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