I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
