Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
