Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.

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  (207): there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW. http://tfl.nu/2lyk
  Replies (11) Good night (2229) Bad night (599)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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  (604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me. http://tfl.nu/s0lh
  Replies (73) Good night (1418) Bad night (17770)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.

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  (661): It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing. http://tfl.nu/ex7a
  Replies (116) Good night (11768) Bad night (1961)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made

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  (609): she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made http://tfl.nu/a7md
  Replies (46) Good night (1327) Bad night (6848)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.

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  (708): she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress. http://tfl.nu/x8tu
  Replies (7) Good night (3670) Bad night (1204)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."

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  (703): She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet." http://tfl.nu/u6hh
  Replies (28) Good night (1493) Bad night (4279)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.

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  (250): God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not. http://tfl.nu/2nya
  Replies (6) Good night (2172) Bad night (618)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.

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  (407): There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese. http://tfl.nu/1bs2
  Replies (6) Good night (1066) Bad night (715)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?

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  (919): What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room? http://tfl.nu/ulxd
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (532)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen

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  (+44): She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen http://tfl.nu/pozx
  Replies (3) Good night (1910) Bad night (547)
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  (424): View more from California

  Update: I may or may not be in a cult

  (424): View more from California

  Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult

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  (424): Update: I may or may not be in a cult (424): Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult http://tfl.nu/yyf4
  Replies (9) Good night (1761) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Gotcha. How bad is it?

  (631): View more from New York

  Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon

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  (516): Gotcha. How bad is it? (631): Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon http://tfl.nu/6gkd
  Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?

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  (763): Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again? http://tfl.nu/daqm
  Replies (1) Good night (323) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Are you ok?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.

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  (240): Are you ok? (978): They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy. http://tfl.nu/fltm
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (180)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.

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  (617): Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe. http://tfl.nu/3lbv
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (233)

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