Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.

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  (314): I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket. http://tfl.nu/jhbx
  Replies (10) Good night (1235) Bad night (692)
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  (408): View more from California

  I think I just got seasick

  (409): View more from Texas

  you're not on a boat

  (408): View more from California

  he has a waterbed.

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  (408): I think I just got seasick (409): you're not on a boat (408): he has a waterbed. http://tfl.nu/239c
  Replies (7) Good night (1530) Bad night (716)
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  (209): View more from California

  is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

  (1-209): View more from California

  yes...dear jesus what did you do?

  (209): View more from California

  bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

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  (209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers? (1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do? (209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off. http://tfl.nu/27hf
  Replies (56) Good night (4976) Bad night (994)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.

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  (317): Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am. http://tfl.nu/ygwv
  Replies (11) Good night (1060) Bad night (5497)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.

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  (410): I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night. http://tfl.nu/medf
  Replies (13) Good night (4445) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.

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  (859): Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours. http://tfl.nu/gzj7
  Replies (5) Good night (5152) Bad night (1002)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"

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  (757): It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah" http://tfl.nu/ebyl
  Replies (14) Good night (5479) Bad night (970)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce

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  (401): I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce http://tfl.nu/vjco
  Replies (15) Good night (995) Bad night (2168)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking

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  (516): Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking http://tfl.nu/xf50
  Replies (4) Good night (1860) Bad night (645)
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  (707): View more from California

  At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.

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  (707): At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon. http://tfl.nu/h8sp
  Replies (3) Good night (1270) Bad night (1378)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'

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  (705): I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him' http://tfl.nu/4xts
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.

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  (901): Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed. http://tfl.nu/jvs2
  Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (1222)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.

  (713): View more from Texas

  They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.

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  (713): He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings. (713): They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge. http://tfl.nu/nsnt
  Replies (2) Good night (989) Bad night (402)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow

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  (404): So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow http://tfl.nu/zlpp
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar

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  (865): I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar http://tfl.nu/r2q7
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (229)

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