Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.