Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.

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  (614): Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed. http://tfl.nu/22a9
  Replies (4) Good night (908) Bad night (1727)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.

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  (631): Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever. http://tfl.nu/2wq0
  Replies (47) Good night (4791) Bad night (1076)
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  (858): View more from California

  Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.

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  (858): Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them. http://tfl.nu/9mrx
  Replies (22) Good night (6648) Bad night (1459)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.

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  (304): I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough. http://tfl.nu/4w8d
  Replies (11) Good night (1179) Bad night (3600)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.

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  (757): We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on. http://tfl.nu/8n2e
  Replies (15) Good night (5736) Bad night (1112)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy

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  (678): she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy http://tfl.nu/57ze
  Replies (17) Good night (6154) Bad night (1312)
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  (516): View more from New York

  There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

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  (516): There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face http://tfl.nu/9y4h
  Replies (55) Good night (21807) Bad night (1538)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.

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  (407): I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/a28b
  Replies (9) Good night (3063) Bad night (966)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.

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  (651): Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me. http://tfl.nu/26ae
  Replies (7) Good night (3434) Bad night (985)
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  (310): View more from California

  She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.

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  (310): She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning. http://tfl.nu/tu4n
  Replies (4) Good night (828) Bad night (1500)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.

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  (612): I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies. http://tfl.nu/bycy
  Replies (5) Good night (2070) Bad night (961)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.

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  (970): The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless. http://tfl.nu/oac7
  Replies (6) Good night (1040) Bad night (496)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister

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  (605): You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister http://tfl.nu/xlrp
  Replies (13) Good night (673) Bad night (1682)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Typical.

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  (314): I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus. (636): Typical. http://tfl.nu/yc0f
  Replies (6) Good night (624) Bad night (327)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  who is the naked dude on the coffee table

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude

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  (918): who is the naked dude on the coffee table (1-918): thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude http://tfl.nu/otkf
  Replies (0) Good night (1008) Bad night (197)

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