I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..