you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?