I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
