a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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