If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
