dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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