You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
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He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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