dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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