FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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