Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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