They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
