Is it because I queefed?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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