Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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