hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
