Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize