i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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