and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
