sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Even my vagina gasped.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
