Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize