i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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