I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
