Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
