gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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