If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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